OKay most of these jokes are probably reallllly corny, so I wouldn't blame you if you left this page. heehee, enjoy!




QUESTION AND ANSWER:



Question: Feed it and it lives. Give it water and it dies. What is it??

Answer: Fire!



Q: Where do you go when you lose a sock?

A: To the "re-pair" shop.



Q: What do you call a pampered cow?

A: Spoiled Milk.



Q: Which travels faster, heat or cold? And why?

A: Heat, because you can easily catch cold!



Q: What do you call two germs living together?

A: Cellmates!



Q: When does it rain money?

A: When there's some change in the weather!



Q: What did one magnet say to another?

A: I find you very attractive!



Q: What do you get when you cross a flea and a rabbit?

A: Bugs Bunny!



Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot and a gorilla?

A: A bird that says, "Polly wants a cracker NOW!"



Q: Why was Newton surprised when he was hit on the head by an apple?

A: He was sitting under a pear tree!



Q: What did the mountain say to the earthquake?

A: It's not my fault!



Q: Why is touching an electric wire like using a credit card?

A: They both give you a charge!



Q: Why does the stork raise one leg?

A: If it raised both legs, it would fall!



Q: Why are fish good at science?

A: They spend all of their time in schools!



Q: When is the vet the busiest?

A: When it rains cats and dogs!



Q: Why do surgeons wear masks?

A: If they make a mistake, no one wiill know who did it!



Q: What is the eye doctor's theme song?

A: "Oh, Say Can You See?"









SHE SAID, HE SAID JOKES:



Teacher: Oxygen was discovered in 1773.

Student: What did people breathe before then?



Doctor to elderly patient: You're going to live untill you're 80.

Elderly patient: But I am 80.

Doctor: There, I told you so!



Patient: What causes baldness?

Doctor: Lack of hair.



Father: My son thinks he's a hen.

Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?

Father: About two years.

Psychiatrist: Why didn't you come to me sooner?

Father: We needed the eggs.



Teacher: What is true of all the scientists of the 17th century?

Student: They're all dead.